Sunday, April 29, 2007

Hats off to Sarwan

BRIDGETOWN, Barbados, April 29 (Reuters)

Ramnaresh Sarwan has been appointed as the new captain of West Indies following the retirement of Brian Lara, Caribbean media reported on Sunday.

CMC Sport said that Sarwan had been given the job at a meeting of the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) on Sunday.

The WICB were not immediately reachable for confirmation.

The 26-year-old right-handed batsmen from Guyana had been widely tipped to take the job for the upcoming tour of England. The first test is on May 17.

Sarwan, who was Lara's vice-captain, has played in 65 test matches and 124 one-day internationals.

Unethical Andrea!

Andrea is a sassy looking floor manager for NCN's Guyana Today show but she needs to be thought a lesson or two on etiquette or the dos and don'ts of being on television. She is used to being so much behind the scenes that now when she is allowed to be in front of the cameras she literally wants to gobble up all the attention.

Some nerve you have Andrea that you stick your spoon in every food of container at the Indian Trade Fair and then stick it in your mouth repeatedly. Container after container, the same spoon you stick in your mouth. Shameful and disgusting! These are the same containers of food that we will have to eat from if we turned up at the same stall you were advertising.

Couldn’t you just allow some one to take out a bit from each bowl and place it into a saucer of some sorts, than to have you just dipping one spoon in each container? Gee we wonder how much they pay you. You need to make a public apology sister.

This is what Guy TV has become. Schuuups!

Ole Higue!!!

Who ever said that Guyanese culture is not alive must be bloody dead by now. It came across to us as shocking and bizarre, that killing of a guyanese woman in Bare Root on Saturday for reasons best known to the creator.

Residents are clearly sying that the woman had to be killed because she appeared to be a blood sucking spirit , some sort of vampire. They call them Ole Higues in Guyana.

We don't know much about these evil spirits...But here is bit of history if your are ignorant like us.


Also known as "Fire Rass", she is the Guyanese equivalent of a vampire. Ole-Higue is always female. She sucks the blood of unsuspecting victims as they sleep. Her favorite victims are young children.

The Ole-Higue's distinguishing feature is the fact that during the day she lives among other Guyanese as a somewhat introverted and quietly old lady, maybe you know one… she possibly lives at the edge of your village.

At night this seemingly harmless old woman removes her skin, places it gently in a calabash and travel across the sky as a ball of fire heading to the home of her intended victim. To enter the home she shrinks herself and enters through the keyhole.

Guyanese believe that there are 3 ways to catch an Ole-Higue:

*To turn the key while she is trying to get through the key hole. As a result even today many Guyanese lock their doors and then turn their key to a horizontal position to allow an Ole-Higue to make it part way into the hole. The rustling of the key should wake the tenant who can then turn the key fully and crush the Ole-Higue. The next morning one should see a pile of bones on the doorstep.

*To find the skin of the Ole-Higue in the Calabash and put hot peppers in the skin, an Ole-Higue who tries to wear this skin will be burned by the pepper and then sing a well know song…Lawd skin yuh ing kno me?… why yuh bite me?

*Since the Ole-Higue is of Dutch and Afro-Guyanese heritage the Dutch side makes her miserly. The easiest way to catch her is to spill rice grains on the floor in front of your front door. As the Ole-Higue enters your house she will be compelled to count every rice grain.

A smart Guyanese will make sure there a large helping of rice on the floor and no bags in sight. As a result the Ole-Higue will have to pick up the grains with her right hand and place counted grains in her left hand.

As is to be expected her hands can only hold so many rice grains and it is only a matter of time before the grains begin to fall back to the ground and the process begins again. When the home owner awakes the next morning he/she should find a very tired and incredibly distressed Ole-Higue counting rice. At this point in time a smart Guyanese will beat the woman to death with a special anti-Ole-Higue broom.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

We're back!!!

We’re back and so is heeeh haaah, heeeh haaah.

It feels as if we have awoken in the middle of a movie by the horror master himself, Steven King. Like Morgan Freeman in Dream Catcher we have been plunged into a horrifying struggle with a creature from another world.
That creature is Guyana, one of the more picturesque places one would surely like to call home, but for most of the times, its hell on earth.
A good friend of ours would remind us regularly that God had plans for Guyana, but like his pastor would say, the man above works in mysterious ways, even those who claim to have a good relationship with the Supreme Being sometime marvel at his works.
Our Friend is head-strong in his belief that God has plans to make Guyana the hell’s pit.
He said look around, there is plenty space and more leaving, even the donkey that end up at the Cheddie Jagan International Airport, Sharma said wants to leave.. But its more like Only a donkey would want to come here.
Now that’s another talking point.
We never wanted to put Guyana in disrepute as soon as we returned to the super highway.
Nonetheless, that donkey some of us saw at the CJIA, is now a popular beast, after many tourists who were in Guyana for cricket took photos of him, one appeared on KN’s front page today.
Its not that the donkey is trying to leave, but he is actually just landed and was waiting to be picked up like many overseas based Guyanese, who relatives sometimes leave stranded despite the little Uncle Sam dollar they send back.
But as one lady who sat two rows in front of us on our flight said, that donkey is part of the hospitable welcome at the CJIA. She said what struck her is that the darn beast just stood there and said nothing and, didn’t even offer her a garland.

Guyana’s Tourism is “Giddying Up.” And we are happy to be in Guyana and we will Giddy Up on this heeee heee heee blog.