Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Thursday at OP...

Stunning developments were uncovered during our visit to Office of the President today. We managed to gain entrance through the so called back gate. That's the western gate on Vlissingen Road. The same gate that Bharrat Jagdeo uses and ironically, that is the same gate that is usually left open. Just ask Mark Benschop and Phillip Bynoe.

Walking through the gate it became more pronounced that Gordon Moesely was never banned from the compound, but in fact both Jagdeo and Kwami Mackoy wanted him to know that the back gate was always open to him. Subtle invitation extended to enter Mr. Moesely.

We used the same back gate, but for good reason. Take your minds out of the pong canal running along Avenue of the Republic. The reason we plumped ourselves at the Office of the President was for us to gather first hand information about Carifesta. After all we were away for a few days in Antigua where travel agents were advising passengers to travel in the day if they were planning to visit Guyana.

Unlike certain Guyanese blogs, we knew that no matter what occurred, the masses i.e the poor black people, would have found money to attend the poorly planned regional event. We never anticipated that they would have braved the elements for "FREE" tickets. Then again Guyanese like freeness. Minister Killaman Lall and Neil Kumar (the only dunce in Parliament) always along the East Coast sipping free rum. That is another story for another time.

The Party Needs Corbin to Reform (PNCR) quickly (read back the start carefully) realised that the party had no sway and therefore, any boycott of the event would not have worked. The PNCR would have been embarrased in the eyes of the region had they hold fast to picketing with a few really poor black people while thousands of other black people were attending the spectacle.

Back to the Office of the President visit. We learn that Bharrat Jagdeo, and future President, Frank Anthony along with Roger Luncheon (in his final term), have plotted a PR campaign should things get ugly.

The blanket excuse will be that Guyana was proud to bail out the region after Bahamas refused to host the mega cultural activity. However, a hardened-face bodyguard we recognised from dancing next to Bharrat Jagdeo while he was at Buddy's grinning with a 16-year-old big breed dougla girl, peeked around a wall just outside the Credentials Room. He wore the same bilge shirt jack with embroidery to the front and two pockets just above the waist. We hurried away, pulled a door leading into an office and tried to maintain our composure.

As we entered the room, we immediately felt our lungs grip, eyes became watery and noses began to twitch. Suddenly it was pitch dark. Must have been a GPL outage we thought. But we were at the Office of the President. How could this be? We fiddled for the door and as it squeaked open, things became clear again. It was not GPL. It was Gail Teixiera sitting in a grayish chair that must have been green when it was bought, blowing whiffs of smoke into the air. This was no longer a chimney, but the exhaust of a Morris Oxford.

She was arguing with Sam Hinds, whose beard looked as if it had trapped most of the smoke in the office. Siting behind a desk was a woman, who we later found out was Nancy, Bharrat Jagdeo's personal secretary. Sam was dragging his words, but between the ahhhhs, we realised that he was boasting of lying to Bharrat by telling him he could not make to Cabinet meeting, but he was actually a few meters away.

Neil Kumar stumbled through the door, cuss everyone in sight and ask if we wanted to join him in a few shots since he was going to declare some domino competition open in Enmore. Must have been mistaken as one of the PYO members. He then questioned why was Bharrat holding Cabinet meeting when things nice....He burped. Yuk...he vomited...Nancy pelt the PPP Manifesto at he. Talk about putting a good document to good use.

Rohee stormed into the room and asked if they don't stop the fiasco, he will have to pick up a stool (one had a flower pot on it in the corner by the door) and pelt them, the same way he pelt Bharrat when he wanted him gone from his ministerial posting. It worked. The confusion stopped and Sam walked out. Gail dropped her Bristol and rubbed it between the wooden floor and the tip of her shoe, lifted her head, leaving behind the memory etched by the swagger of her backside.

Nancy stayed put and appeared to be dialing a number. It looked like 624-7622 or something like that. It sounded like Bharrat. She slammed down the phone clearly disappointed. As she stepped away from the desk, she finally noticed that we were in the office. We told her we were there to see Bharrat. Oh! you mean the President, she said.

She continued packing her desk before stepping out. This was amazing. The entire office to us. What the heck, lets dive through a few of the papers scattered on the desk.

At the top was a resume from someone name Davita Chatteran. Lying just a few centimeters away was a paper with a draft speech. At the top clrearly stated 'By Cabinet Secretary post Carifesta"

Here is what it least the first page...we had to divert since Nancy returned.

"G-u-y-a-n-a as an I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t nation sitting on the c-o-n-t-i-n-e-n-t-a-l shelf of South America and its people was caught up in the rapture of having responded in a very appropriate manner to host Carifesta, an event that has its inauguration on these very shores.

Further, as a Government, we are pleased with the turnout. The Government recognises the great importance that the people of Guyana showed to the artistic celebrations by dismissing elements within our society who were gleeful enough to promote partisan agendas at the sacrifice of the good of the country. It must be noted that the turnout showed an automatic willingness by the majority of Guyanese to support this Government in its efforts to promote Guyana and sends an unambiguous message to those opposed to such a prosperous move.

Notwithstanding the foolhardy doomsayers amongst us, Guyana can hold its head above the atmospheric elements and be proud to host the biggest cultural event in the region on such a short notice. Cabinet recognises the effort of President Bharrat Jagdeo to fulfill the mandate of his Government and call on Guyanese to hearten your leaders to support a constitutional amendment that will see the continuation of Government’s agenda beyond 2011. Government Guyana has scored a convincing victory that will go down in the annals of history."

We understand that the President was planning a presser later in the day and he was mad...we had to skittle out the compound. Good thing we did, because McSkunt released one of those dirty bombs.


  1. This is so fucking funny. But is why you guys giving out the President number online. Rohee will pelt a stool at this blog.

  2. Why should the Administer of this site publicize the President Telephone number? We need to respect the President Privacy as an individual and a human begin.
    This would be a violation of the Data Protection Act.

  3. We must apologise for the late response, but we wrote what we say that Thursday. We have no clue if that is the President's number. We assume it is. We are not even going to attempt a call. You can if you wish and we hope to read the results of your call on the next post. We refuse to be sucked into a philosophical argument that involves the Data Protection Act. Maybe if we were in the UK, things might have been different.

  4. You bloggers are two idle fools. This is clear that one guy is behind both of these blogs. how foolish he looks responding to his own comments. No wonder McSkunt laughs and poops all day.