Plans for 800 tourists

Minister of Touring, woManniram was expected to announce very soon the arrival of 800 tourists, which will buffer the sector and create more employment for police officers, who will be deployed to ensure proper security is maintained.

This was suppose to be top secret and you know what they say in Guyana...bush have plenty ears. Seems like Tusika Martin at Kaieteur news got plenty bush ears, and so she hear about the tourist plan and published it in today's KN. The media just love to spoil things. We here are left with no other choice than to release the plans.

woMannirman had the entire Guyana Steel Orchestra lined up, along with some of the borrowed Digicel girls to welcome the tourists. It was supposed to be live broadcast by NCN, who would have used the outing as a tune up for those live Parliament sessions. There was suppose to be aerial shots from the army helicopter. And the VIP lounge would have been the welcoming area. Some would have been repeat visitors, who of course would not have been strangers to the lounge after utilizing it on their way out on previous visits.

An official Government welcoming party headed by Kwami McSkunt was formed and they were key roles for all on board including Henry Jeffery, who finally saw how the EPA actually resulted in more tourists arrival. Plans for the welcoming party had slowed after a deadlock because McSkunt wanted to perform before the digicel girls.

"No one must steal my thunder, its my 5 seconds of fame and I am going to grab it," McSkunt had told the planning Committee before he barged out in his white pencil jeans and red camisole top. As he left the door, he was reminded by Luncheon that as part of his protest, he could not go Grenada with pencil jeans since there was a crack down on people showing their butt cracks in public.

Good sense had prevailed and McSkunt returned to the meeting. The stage was set for McSkunt to perform, but his show was to come after the Digicel Girls, but not on the same stage. He wanted to use the entire runway and tarmac for his performance, which included a cameo from Janet Jagan. She was tipped to show her nimbleness in a series of flicks across the tarmac and back, which she had learned and perfected from watching Jackie Chan during the last century.

Pumped up by the welcoming ceremony, the tourists were suppose to be garlanded by exotic weeds of all sorts which had accumulated in many canals after years of neglect. But the biggest surpise would have come during their trip down from the airport. Facebook and Hi5 Friends of Jagdeo were expected to line the route and in case of rain, they were suppose to huddle under the many billboards which carried photos and slogans of 'Bharrat our hero had won Suriname' and 'Jagdeo our God has brought us lots of cheaper Grease and African pride'.

The ex-Guysuco board members were suppose to have been used as tour guides, taking the tourists on estate trucks to all parts of Guyana. And where trucks can't go, like Mahaica and several of the Villages along the East Coast, the Berbice ferry renamed the MV Pirates captained by Ivor Spanish was to be called in. The boat would have many bars and drinks from the TH&D sports club and an array of lights powered by several GPL transformers. Polar beer would have been scarce then because there was no bridge linking Venezuela as yet.

There was expected to be a fake pirate attack as three plait- headed men with AK-47s would have boarded the ship. This was uppose to be just a 1 minute show and was the only time the exquisite guns of Guyana would have been seen by the tourists.

There were suppose to see the seven ancient wonders of Guyana: Cuffy Statue, State House, Luncheon's beard, Kaieteur Falls, Peter Ramsaroop's giant Guyana flag, the Demerara Harbour Bridge, the modern day Jones Town at Christmas falls and of course Bharrat jagdeo's bald head. They had to wonder where the other Wonder was, but that's the trick. It was in the mind.

But even before they had even touched down in Guyana, the fun would have started mid-air, as the incoming craft and another outgoing craft was supposed to rub wings, setting off a magical display of fireworks. They plane with the Tourists was arriving at pre-dawn so by the time the fireworks had ended, the ever competent pilot Jerry Gouveia would be able to land the plane on the blackened runway without much commotion.

We only have the first day itinerary, but from the peek we had from the second day list of activities, revealed that Mark Benschop and Moses Nagamootoo were to play important roles. Benschop was to drive the tourist to the ninth wonder - the Berbice Bridge. Once there, Benschop was suppose to experience a blow out and block the bridge and the excitement would have kicked off from there.

Once the Bridge was blocked, Moses was suppose to part the Berbice River for the Tourists to visit the ancient county. So many bold plans had to be spilled into the public because KN could not wait. woManniram has already said he would ditch the plans for the tourists and instead have them locked up and processed as criminals. That's how vex he vex.